satnrose

Holocaust Train

 

 

a wave of glass against the night each drop of blood as white as ice the rail goes on beyond all horizons rolling and rolling all day all night afraid so fear and starvation make dignity impossible on an empty stomach reaches all the way up to the ears weak in all things master in none if I commit a crime the crime is mine if thy nation commits a crime the crime in thine and if Jesus never existed then the story is born and lifted by the subconscious spirit and is even more valid to those who most need it no there is no self-defense the sound of murder deafens all justifications and there is no blood in the matzo there is no human sacrifice God said to Abraham thy will be done the locomotive was not the worst of it but every mile took us farther from our selves until we arrived not knowing who I am a human being I am the same diminish me and you diminish yourself no last words the children remember the future only the children can live through the end of all things knowledge is made of truth and lie the lie reveals the truth truth destroys the lie locked in the cattle cars freighting death afraid crushed children crying gasping out their last breaths in fear cold and the hungry dark and there is no innocence in slavery God’s will will be done the children can’t go home when there is no home God exists because children die it just hurt too much to be otherwise all across Europe the left behind were herded into the wooden synagogues and the flames against the window and the prayers the screams the curses no one can calm the killer there is an end to the track but there is no end to suffering a hundred steps down to the basement but only one step up days in darkness for a moment of light the Nazis felt that since the Jews were going to Hell anyway that it didn’t matter what they did to any of them the scar deep salt healed over not under the number tattooed on the arm of every Jew and many more Jews than Christians were crucified by the Romans the blood libel is 900 years of hate when most truth is not that old how can you charge the ghosts with slander lies live in Limbo they stole our names consolidated our graves destroyed our temples and fined us for the privilege to live a nightmare takes a courage mere survival is a gift rolling over the diamond frogs while we ride into the morning no end to this nightmare once it has begun nothing can stop the disintegration of a soul whether the one or the nation and no amount of money can pay for a crime that you didn’t commit but every penny paid to plead wore down the soul no amount of understanding can forgive the extermination of children send a mischling to market to buy a fat pig and never go home again jiggity jig every man must face his own Apocalypse there comes a time when all things stop every knife has a point tears fall longer than the rain ballast becomes a habit becomes another part of the daily night time makes all broken even the Nazis were crushed but Germans are gandy dancers and come around if nothing happened then they are nothing there are no innocent bystanders either you crucify are crucified laugh weep stab or succor all that’s left is hope is the only good thing when we are gone you must remember our memories our lives must become yours or all is lost and there is no logic no reasoning no rationalization no excuse no defense and no escaping the central fact that the Poles always give up the Jews and in giving up the Jews the immolate themselves never forget Uman and the double massacre no bravery no true Cross the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising the Battle of Warsaw the promise broke and broken lift the wine drink the veil bless the curs’d and hope the best suicide is no escape and closes doors that must be open heroes go and cowards go and men walk through never seen a nation that must kill children to survive has no right to exist in the story everyone rejects Him for what He is and only later can accept for what they think He was if some very few are rescued not of the whole but a piece at a time that the meek inherit 33 days of fighting at Warsaw 33 centuries against the grain 330 years of Inquisition proven again and again and again everyone who passed the wall was inked in the forearm children women babies men a mark of forever never there is no self-defense against a uniform there are only assassins and the assassinated all roads wheel from Berlin and all the railways overgrown speaking is death listening is death moving is death seeing is death silence is death talking is death breath is death a heartbeat is death no argument if one moment is doomed then innocence is doomed if justice fails everyone then all justice is suspect in the grave where thousands lay nothing is left to pray say what you will or do not say we will not wake life was full of possibilities now down to two inside the box besieged like rats it must be that God has no memory or else surely we have forgotten what God must be tattered flags flying in the smoky wind and what is so rare as the last breath of life what is so blue as the last glimpse of sky the last thing you ever see what is so silent as a stopped heart a voice no voice it is a long ride for us all and this is the future nothing can prevent the evaporation of a soul in a dry dry land without water or love but it’s nothing new to burn a Jew and nothing too a Jew can do if this is how the page must turn at least there let the lesson’d learned so now there was no exchange to match the true cost money is thin for blood blood rivers flowed to an ocean of blood the witnesses blinded by salt we did not start the war regardless of blame but all wars have a finish the transfer could by its very nature not be completed no amount of money can buy off history the sheep survived by becoming wolves the lies were never young the lies go back before words engraved in iron and last forever despite no proof but even so the shadows move on the walls the walls themselves are shadows and the shadows are shadowed the single problem was never simple the final solution was never simple the new beginning was never the end the end was never a single problem you can’t live buried alive in the ghetto there must come a time when the sky returns even if only on the way to the camps all are equal under the knife all this for the one God and it turns out to be the same God’s mercy is a terrible thing to behold and a terrible terrible thing to receive and if you recognize Satan in yourself recognize the God in the glass darkly the Ghost on the Cross is a Jew there is no end to pain except in gratitude a bullet in the head better than gas a thousand thousand Torahs burned the host defiled by the fireman’s ashes there is only so much that can be endured this be our grave buried in blood and lye the unseeing eye the pretender commands my death I can’t stop it I thought my life was my own after a while the jolting of the train becomes a familiar friend reminding you that you’re still alive keeping you awake keeping you sane the engineer makes no promise no down payment no debt no flight no escape no past time short and shorter rumbling down to nothing a career of dying the killers learn to feel nothing and ultimately murder themselves and their own first born when all else is worn away there is nothing left but the heroic no other choice the brakemen stepped over the edge the bridge collapsed and falling interlinked our ends forever so intertwined that only you are left to remember only you know when we died this I witness in my memory let none who survive believe the lie let none who survive believe the lie let no one believe the lie